Love and Lust Are Equally Beautiful

When the universe came into existence, Eros was among the first to be born, which means that life and beauty came from both love and eroticism, for He is the God of both love and lust. People today act as though lust is something to be avoided and reviled, unvirtuous at best, but that's just our brainwashed minds talking, repeating the modernized social norms, mainly derived from Abrahamic cultures, to make us feel ashamed of our humanity. 

Love and lust are both equally valid and wonderful, and one can be found powerfully in the other. Diverse pleasure is the human experience. It allows you to accept everything as it is, and people as they are, without ruining your relationships or experiences.

For starters, no lifelong love begins with love. Most of the time, no one says I love you on the first date. It all begins with a lust. The person turned you on, caught your eye, struck your interest. Maybe you even had sex on the first encounter, and that's wonderful. When you receive someone to share intimacy with, it's a gift from Aphrodite, as well as Eros, and you should enjoy it. 

I know I have certainly had such experiences in the past. I have even been with women who I only had sex with once, which means it was lustful, and yet, I still care for them even to this day. Because you share something special with the person(s), and in your mind and heart, that will always mean something. In fact, throughout my younger life, I ignored several opportunities to have that pleasure with people, and I later had to work through the regret. You'll always regret the things you don't do. Take it from someone who knows, don't pass it up. 

Within lust, one can as well find that they love something or someone. Equally, within love there can be lots of lust. I dearly love my wife, but I still have the carnal desire for all that she is, which would be called lust. I love her body, her kiss, and her touch, and also notable, the lust drives the passion that has never died for the entire 15 years we have been together.

These are all powerful and important forms of sexuality and human interaction; sometimes one even hinges on the other. Somethings are meant to turn into lifelong love, and others are meant for pleasure's sake, for the benefit of friendship and attraction, and both of these can bring equal amounts of joy, beauty and support into your life. 

Life was, is, and always will be multifaceted. An individual is not meant to be just one thing, or experience one event, throughout their entire life. The opportunity to take part in all that life has to offer is not meant to be feared. We are meant to live fully. The Gods did not give us life, and send people and things into our lives, for no reason at all. We are meant to enjoy and find pleasure in all of that, to learn and grow, and define all that is part of our lives.

That is, if you accept that both love and lust are valuable. If you abandon one another just because of the kind of attraction and connection you have, you'll always lose all the benefits of that relationship. If you are of the mind that you should resent your humanity, you must first change that mindset, and realize that your humanity is blessed, not damned.

In the Goodness of the Gods,

I'll see you at the next Herm down the road,

Chris Aldridge.

How A Hellenic Marriage Endured The Impossible

I certainly will never pass myself off as a licensed relationship counselor, but from my own relationship of the last 14 years, which was a Hellenic union and marriage, I know what creates strength and weakness, love and hate, union and dissolution.

I remember a long time ago a friend of mine, who wasn't a Hellenist or any religion as far as I knew, asked me to pray for her marriage, as it was on the verge of divorce. I said I'd ask Hera for help (Queen of heaven and the Goddess of marriage).

A few days later, my friend told me that her relationship had miraculously improved. I haven't heard from her since, and I hope things are still going well, but the first point is that when you put Hera at the center of your union, it will never break.

Of course, it was first Aphrodite, Goddess of love and passion, who brought my wife and I together. Still to this day, after the better part of 20 years of being together, we still have just as much passion for one another.

The hard part, at the beginning of our relationship, was that neither of our families approved. They either felt one wasn't good enough for the other, or that it was something that was happening too fast and hasty. But sometimes, that's the way the universe works.

So literally, we ran away together. We didn't care what others thought. She left her home, and I mine. We didn't look back either. For a short time, we were technically homeless until we managed to get into a hotel here and there, in which we stayed until our first apartment was finally secured.

When you want to be with someone and the opportunity to change your life for the better is there, don't bother yourself with the opinions of other people. Listen to what the Gods and your heart tell you. 

Some may be critical of spontaneous love, but I can verify that it is an indicator of the strongest kind. If you have to work to get someone to love you, it's just not meant to be. A natural connection does not require labor, nor can it ever be destroyed, just as energy itself cannot be.

When we rented our first apartment together in High Point, North Carolina in the summer of 2009, we were so poor that I was astounded they even gave us one in the first place, and as nice as it was to add. We literally had nothing but our laptops, clothes to sit on, and an air mattress for sleep. 

But we were as happy as we could be, even though we didn't have any material. We didn't even have good jobs at the time. Nevertheless, we were delighted just to be with each other in our own place, away from everything and everyone else. Therefore, I'd say the second phase is finding someone who is willing to run away with and love you for you only.

Of course, finding someone who only wants you for you may not be that easy if you're rich or well off. In that case, I really can't give advice because I've never been rich. But what I can say is that someone who wants you when you're poor, won't leave you when you're rich. So if you want a lifelong partner, get one either when you're poor, or who doesn't know you're not.

However, we could not have possibly guessed what was to come next, something that would change so many lives, including ours, forever; a severely premature baby. Even though Gryphon pulled through amazingly after being born at only 24 weeks, he still has issues he will have to work through throughout his life.

Why does this have such an impact on the marriage between my wife and I? Because over 80% of marriages with children with disabilities end in divorce or separation. Ours never did. That's not to say it hasn't had its difficult times, but the hardships uniquely made us stronger together.

When Gods like Zeus, Athena, Artemis and Apollon are part of your life, you realize that you have a duty and an obligation to others, no matter how difficult things may become at times. It was mine to love my wife and be there for my son, because I had assisted in bringing this union together and creating our child. My personal feelings and stresses are irrelevant when it comes to duty.

In short, Hellenism instills in you honor. Honor is the most important of all virtues, because without it, there is nothing you won't do under the right circumstances. Honor puts the personal to the side and brings to the top what is simply right and what is simply wrong. Would it have been much easier to leave my marriage? Quite possibly. But easy isn't always right, nor does it always make you better.

Additionally, the more you experience hardships and trials together, the more love and strength your connection will have. Don't run or recoil from challenges if they come. Instead invoke the Gods, take each other's hand, and push through them. Whatever you do, never see one another as the enemy or the reason for your troubles. You are in it together. Your partnership is supposed to help you manage things better. Use it.

Life is not easy. It's a full time job, full of stress, health and financial issues, and sometimes even legal concerns. But I tell you truly, the Gods and your love will bring you through all of it.

One might say, "Yes, but why bother? If it's been that hard a significant amount of the time, wouldn't it be better to just not go through it?"

The answer is, if you never want to change for the better and you don't want to get the most out of a relationship, then no, it's not worth your time. Otherwise, it's worth every step. You'll notice progress for the better, just as we have. Things have always improved slowly but surely. We are a world better off now than when we first met. It's not even a close comparison. For two reasons; the Gods and the refusal to give up.

In the Goodness of the Gods,

I'll see you at the next Herm down the road,

Chris Aldridge.