Friday, March 13, 2020

Why I Implore People To LIVE

The freeman appears crazy at worst and immoral at best; he might even be harmed. But if it is true that the unexamined life is not worth living, as Sokrates said, then it is also true that the life which is unlived is not worth it. I spent so many of my years seeing friends and people in general who refused to live, either because they were too scared or too brainwashed with social norms. I was always someone who never bought into any of it, even since my high school days, and trust me, it wasn't easy being free in a society of slaves. But there is one incident in my life that I will always remember, and it happened only about a year or so ago. 

Since my time in Illinois, I have lived all over the northern region of it, and for the most part, didn't make any friends until 2018, which ended in tragedy. It made me wonder, at that time, if I could even keep a friend in my life. When I moved to South Beloit in 2018, I met a girl on Facebook, who we will call Jasmine to protect and respect her privacy. She was born, I think in 1977, so she was around 41 when we ran into each other online. She lived nearby and we had many similar interests, even the same religious ideas in some cases; she was Pagan. I invited her out to lunch one day, and we met at a local Mexican place. Jasmine had a lot of health problems. However, she didn't seem to let that slow her down and she was a beautiful girl inside and out. I loved spending time with her. I also discovered during this outing that she was a lesbian, which kind of dashed me seeing that I was attracted to her.

After eating, we went and sat in my car for several minutes and talked. I don't remember exactly how we got onto the topic, but relationships and sexuality came up, and I asked her if she would like to kiss me and see how she liked it, which she did entirely on her own. It was a beautiful thing and I felt very honored that she would share something so special with me. I can still feel her lips and taste her kiss, and still hear myself whisper after, "You sure you don't like guys?" To which she smiled and said, "Yes, I'm sorry." So in the end, she still didn't want me sexually, but at least she didn't live without knowing. Sometimes, you find out what you want and don't want by trying it. Despite the male myth, there's no "lesbian destroyer" apparently.

After that, though, I still wanted to remain her friend, and I was always open to hanging out with her as friends, but our first outing would actually be the last time I ever saw her. At the end of the year, I messaged her on Facebook to just chat generally like we always did, and one of her close friends answered, informing me that Jasmine was dead, having passed away suddenly and for no apparent reason, although one might think it had something to do with her health issues. The passing was so sudden that I didn't even get a chance to go to the funeral. It worked on me for days, I missed her so much, and still do.

In every public speech I give on living your life to the fullest and doing the things you want, I talk about this story, because I want people to understand that every single day is a countdown. The young and/or healthy always think they have plenty of time, but they don't, and because they are young and healthy, they can only see as far as their noses, and pay no attention to the sound of the clock that is ticking down by the second to their death. You could be having the happiest day of your life at 25, only to smash into another car 5 seconds later and head for the afterlife. You simply don't know when your thread is going to be cut.

Even I myself today, still think of all the people I could have been with in my life and all the things I could have done that are simply impossible now, and I regret every day that I didn't take the opportunity when it was there for whatever reason that probably shouldn't have mattered. No one will build any monuments to your conservatism. No one will care that you didn't live. They will walk right over your grave and keep going, so therefore, you have to care about yourself. The Gods didn't give you life for nothing. You're not meant to hold yourself back, you're not meant to micromanage. There are no rewinds and nothing worth the time you can never get back. Once it's too late, it's too late. Nothing can change it. You live and you live now. If you don't, one day, you will lie on your deathbed, look out the window at the horizon, and cry over all the things you never did.

I implore people to live because I know how wonderful, but also how short and precious life is. Don't waste it.

In the Goodness of the Gods,
Chris Aldridge.